I swear you cannot make this stuff up.
You wake up one morning thinking your local water district is probably discussing pipes, reservoirs, water quality, rates, drought planning… you know, water district stuff.
Instead, you open the agenda and discover these geniuses at the Diabo Water District are talking about buying 3,570 acres known as Jersey Island from the Ironhouse Sanitary District.
An island.
Not fixing infrastructure.
Not lowering rates.
Not improving service.
An island.
Then you click the agenda hoping someone accidentally forgot to upload the staff report.
Nope.
This is literally all they give the public: “Jersey Island Study Session with No Action Regarding the District’s Potential Acquisition of Jersey Island – Public Comment Welcomed.”
That’s it.
No report.
No purchase price.
No financing.
No explanation.
No environmental analysis.
No “here’s why your water district suddenly thinks it’s Zillow.”
Just…
“Trust us, bro.”
What kind of Mickey Mouse operation is this?
You know what’s amazing?
There’s more information in their monthly newsletter than on the actual public meeting agenda.
Think about that.
The newsletter says this is a “rare opportunity.” Rare opportunity for who? The ratepayers?
Or the board members who apparently watched one episode of Yellowstone and decided, “You know what this water district needs? Thousands of acres.”
They even paid for a full-page newspaper ad—using money that ultimately comes from ratepayers—to pitch everyone on environmental stewardship.
Last time I checked…
Diablo Water District isn’t the East Bay Regional Park District.
You’re not Save Mount Diablo
You’re not the Sierra Club.
You’re a water district.
Stay in your lane.
Imagine calling your plumber because your sink is leaking and he shows up saying, “Good news! I bought 3,500 acres for bird watching.”
No.
Fix the damn sink.
Then it gets even better.
Buried in the newsletter they casually mention they’ve already been consulting environmental engineers, oil and gas experts, reclamation districts, carbon reduction specialists, land title experts…
Holy hell.
Apparently everybody has been invited to the party except the people paying the bills.
Who hired these experts?
How much have they been paid?
Who’s approving the invoices?
Was it pro bono “experts” and if so, are they unbiased or giving the district information they want to receive for an outcome desired?
Or is this another one of those magical government tricks where consultant money somehow falls from the sky?
Then comes my favorite government fairy tale.
“Don’t worry… ratepayers won’t pay for it.”
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Good one.
I’ve covered local government for fourteen years.
Whenever someone says taxpayers or ratepayers won’t pay…
…give it six months.
Suddenly there’s administrative costs.
Maintenance costs.
Matching funds.
Legal costs.
Grant compliance.
Consultant contracts.
Insurance.
Security.
Habitat management.
Unexpected environmental remediation.
Oops.
Funny how government always discovers someone else’s money after the ribbon cutting.
Now let’s talk about Paul Seger.
Because this thing has his fingerprints all over it.
This is exactly why I lost my mind when the board played musical chairs with the bylaws to install Seger as president.
Anyone who’s followed local politics for five minutes knows Seger has spent decades chasing environmental and horse recreation projects.
Now, magically, the water district wants an island.
What incredible timing.
I’m sure that’s just one giant coincidence.
And I’m the starting quarterback for the 49ers.
This feels less like water policy and more like someone finally finding a government credit card for their lifelong hobby.
Congratulations.
You figured out how to cosplay as the East Bay Regional Park District.
Then you’ve got Joe Kovalick.
The guy who walks into every room with the confidence of someone who thinks Google should ask him questions.
Does this guy honestly believe he’s going to out-negotiate California on Delta water rights?
That’s adorable.
The state has been fighting over Delta water longer than some of these board members have been paying property taxes.
Slow down, Einstein.
Here’s the real issue.
Nobody has explained the actual problem.
What’s broken?
What’s the emergency?
Who exactly has been begging Diablo Water District to buy an island?
Did I miss that survey?
“Dear Ratepayer: Before we replace aging infrastructure, would you prefer we purchase thousands of acres of Delta land?”
Said absolutely nobody.
Instead, we get a Friday agenda dump with virtually no information, hoping nobody notices before Tuesday.
Classic government move.
Bury it.
Delay the details.
Hope everyone is too busy barbecuing over the weekend to ask questions.
Here’s a crazy idea.
If you’re asking a public agency to spend millions of dollars on a purchase completely outside what normal people think a water district actually does…
Maybe…
Just maybe…
Show your damn homework.
Not a newsletter.
Not a marketing brochure.
Not a glossy advertisement.
An actual staff report.
With numbers.
With risks.
With alternatives.
With financing.
With consequences.
You know… government stuff.
Until then, this entire thing looks like a bunch of people who got bored managing water and decided owning an island for recreation use sounded cooler.
Before anyone spends a dime, answer these questions:
- Why does a water district need to own Jersey Island?
- What’s the purchase price?
- Who negotiated it?
- Any partnering districts or entities involved?
- Who are these mysterious “experts” and how much have they already billed?
- What environmental liabilities come with the property? You know, the cleanup costs of the island.
- What will annual maintenance cost?
- What happens if grants disappear?
- What exactly is the public benefit?
- What water problem does this solve?
- Has the city of Oakley chimed in?
- Water Rights?
- And finally… if Jersey Island is supposedly such a once-in-a-lifetime asset…Why is Ironhouse Sanitary District trying to get rid of it?
Because right now this whole thing smells like government suffering from a severe case of “Just Because We Can Syndrome.”
And that’s usually how taxpayers and ratepayers end up getting hosed.
At the end of the day, if the Diablo Water District and Ironhouse Sanitary District are truly concerned about protecting ratepayers, they shouldn’t be spending time debating the purchase or sale of an island. They should be having a serious conversation about whether merging the two districts would create efficiencies, reduce administrative costs, and deliver better value to the people paying the bills.
That’s the discussion ratepayers deserve—not whether their water district should suddenly become the proud owner of 3,570 acres of Delta real estate.
This is the problem when transparency is intentionally lacking and there is no supporting documents associated with an agenda item, its left open to interpretation. It leaves the public to fill in the blanks, speculate, and draw its own conclusions—something that could have been avoided with a straightforward explanation from the start.
Mike Burkholder
Publisher of ContraCosta.news
burk@contracosta.news
If You Go
Diablo Water District Study Session
Aug 3 at 6:00 pm
3990 Main Street, Oakley, CA
Agenda: click here